by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 489thMost Armed: 2,157thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,158th
The United Socialist Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Money, Work, Industry, Power!
Emperor Alexander I
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.316 billion

LeaderEmperor Alexander I


The United Socialist Empire of Colonla is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Alexander I with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 2.316 billion Colonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Khanbaliq. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Colonian economy, worth 594 trillion Krulers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 256,682 Krulers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 770,047 per year while the poor average 66,831, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

Wilderness-dwelling hermits are surprised to find railway stations on their front doorsteps, giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls, public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women, and students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Colonla's national animal is the Faloth, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Colonla is ranked 267,733rd in the world and 13,910th in The North Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3.43 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 489thMost Armed: 2,157thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,158thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,263rdMost Influential: 2,454thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,454thTop
Largest Mining Sector: 2,856thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,253rdMost Patriotic: 3,432ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,570thHighest Average Incomes: 3,606thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,416thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,151stMost Efficient Economies: 5,348thLargest Retail Industry: 6,238thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,288thLowest Crime Rates: 6,730thLargest Black Market: 7,002ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,034thLargest Governments: 7,082ndMost Secular: 7,443rdLongest Average Lifespans: 7,682ndMost Developed: 7,721stHealthiest Citizens: 7,773rdMost Subsidized Industry: 7,923rdLargest Publishing Industry: 8,199thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8,661stSmartest Citizens: 9,973rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 10,693rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,096thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,427thMost Cultured: 12,429thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,114thTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 13,854thLargest Welfare Programs: 14,125thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,904thHighest Food Quality: 15,378thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,794thMost Inclusive: 16,334thMost Advanced Public Transport: 19,292ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 21,018thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 22,058thHighest Poor Incomes: 26,305thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 26,366thLargest Agricultural Sector: 26,792nd
Most Armed: 70th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 71st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 82nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 87th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 90th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 92nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 132nd in the regionTop
Most Patriotic: 142nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 151st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 161st in the regionLargest Black Market: 168th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 187th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 229th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 291st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 293rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 298th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 333rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 337th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 365th in the regionMost Secular: 373rd in the regionLargest Governments: 391st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 393rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 396th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 401st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 462nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 468th in the regionMost Developed: 482nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 529th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 550th in the regionMost Cultured: 639th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 648th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 658th in the regionTop
Most Influential: 702nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 709th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 721st in the regionRudest Citizens: 766th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 798th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 822nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 867th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 890th in the regionMost Inclusive: 936th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1,005th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,133rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,139th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,139th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,158th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1,227th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,285th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 262 » Gothgraff and Lilium, Shibutani, Marseo, Corfad, Tape, The Nationalist State of Ukraine, Ardonii, Dinoium, Card Kingdom, Ethnon, Vodea, Dar es Saalam, Bankowiata, Omicron Persei V111, Orado, Valiacorkit, Kranostav, Pinguioris, The Rhein States, Filibustra, Hulldom, Blicia, Libertarianists States, Koda-Land, Former English Colony, Notyoutopia, Q w e r t y, Aenglaland, Yaorozu, Siwale, Hardscrabble, Aerilia, Varisland, Ellbonnia, The Erie Doctrine, Sojenre, Tachycardia, Bongo Mountain, Loli County, Tyirza, Lulubellia, Pallaith, Ayuzhhhhh, Wilkshire, Loutsland, Great Bights Mum, Guer Aike, Blyskalia, Anchovan, Selfgradatude, and 212 others.Cobolica, Jupi Utopia, Pazair, United States of Dictators, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, The Jerichowan Country, Kormisia, Kastonvia, Dreadton, Gorundu, Lovarpia, Sagittarian, Olenegorsk, Kwaj, Phoronu, Waladis, Tasty Bread, The Bureaucratic Territories, Federation Terra Australis, Narlioni, Lemsrow, Banaus, Imperial Pieserged, Oannia, Liberty and Unity, Regallio, Torslia, Karazan, Toilet Man, Alice Gardens, Thought Obliteration, Holy Oranz, Unitarian Universalism, Walter Jackson, Chukstik Illahi, Yukti, Perikuresu, Manticore utopia, Western Vapia, Pleroma Sans Romans, 2 and 2 is Fish, Malta Comino Gozo, Erdovia, Detrivania, Iviedi, ForestMythal, Kappacon, New Lakemba, Tehmistan, Oroyan, Vexilia, Nothing Of Value, The Peoples Republic of Kyle, Sil Dorsett, Free Culture, AmManies, Azzarel, Wooleystan, David Davidson, Unsophisticate, Dicko, Necromonia, LostLegion, Lemonbiscuits, Felpolandia, -Azteca Mexico, Laurendon, Simone Republic, Pinky Queen, Omnistria, Soragan, Capablanca, Wineclaw, Eraver, Marganza, Thralka, Zokk, PotatoFarmers, Celestial Iracenna, Consumeistan, Luminerra, Wooloo Unitedstrtes, Napnap, Heilhum Imperius, Eternal Dominion, Artoriticitys, Solaria Alliance, Seanat, Henrys milk state, New Mathiga, Chipoli, Joanista, Ice and Tinian, Kandenburg, Piura, Frances Francis the First of France, Panama Coalition, Sunto, New Xyroxes, Dai Nippon Teikaku, Xagill, Marmiedon, Bizarrotan, Mandurium, Nordic-British Union, Lefevrerismo, Nizej-Ouroboros, Zyvetskistaahn, Retfor, The straitlands, Vananatu, United free lands, Scroplia, Cocolt, Eurochina, SORT, Democatic Donkeys, Low Woodland, KAP03land, Cowbridge, Eastern Arcana, Soviet Terran, Katosenai, Mitea Carin, Oneiroi West, Non-Exploding Cupcake, Harjad, Sencalia, Galom Dasir, Testnation223, Roman Empire August, Westerhold, Omolon, Sechiole, Smib, Canineia, North Bratislava, United States of Americanas, Praestania, Communist Beijing Must be China, Bud Prussia, Miyasaka, Azevedocity, Surb Clant, Trubirohan, All about industry, Kandorith, Hops and Malt, Choi Aeguka, Etaima, Wisconsota, Diodone, Unshleepd, Tardine, Ishtimbine, Neweath, Shilshka, Berke Khan, Earth Defense, Epsilon-Eleven, New Jerusalemm, Tenana, Oceanica Empire, The Windmilluminati, ChristianVille of the USA, Emeraldisia, The Zheng Dynasty, Alfenheim, Antiyard, Weeeest viiiiirginiaaaa, Lapplandish Tradonistria, Guslantis, Prevaland, Sea Star Islands, Hopenadya, Yamantau, Catel Sago, Sector 70, Goose lands, Neutral Centrists, Meretime Pacifis, Meadowfields, Soziale, The Austro Germanic Union, Clan Spaniel, Bluvannialand, Asilvaria, Fatski land, Twinbrook, Aekp, CHERN0BYL 2, Ascont, Nationeer, Neptunian Military Administration, TheLandOfFunFunFun, Lumnoscherya, Light will, Lil Nasbol, Veltvalen, 1 very fast endotarter, Solmetria, Runeda, Liminyj, Navsland, Jemackistan, SteelFists, Safte, Galbadiana, Sankay, Yokciq Empire, Greycastle, and The Marions.