The Republic of Colonalia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Jake Crafter with a fair hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, daily referendums, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.207 billion Colonalians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port Sutherford. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Colonalian economy, worth 761 trillion Cons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 146,181 Cons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, produce labels read 'may contain traces of food', children must be board certified to append "Jr" to their name, and sleeping on the job is recommended. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Colonalia's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Colonalia is ranked 7,040^th in the world and 29^th in Spiritus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 3,861.89 on the Societal Mobility Rating.