The Free Lands of Coffin-Breathe is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by primus inter pares with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 23.435 billion Coffin-Breathren are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Coffin-Breathish economy, worth a remarkable 3,796 trillion needlesses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an impressive 161,982 needlesses, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is giving peace a chance, arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands, all the playground's a stage for Coffin-Breathish schoolchildren, and crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination. Crime is totally unknown. Coffin-Breathe's national animal is the homo sapiens, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is there are no gods.

Coffin-Breathe is ranked 223,502^nd in the world and 4^th in Greifenreservat for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring -25.07 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.