by Max Barry

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Most Influential: 2,784thMost Secular: 8,691stSafest: 12,779th
The Commonwealth of
Father Knows Best State
I can't run a country, why was I even elected?
Chancellor Carl Kemppainen
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Very Strong
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Coffee Drinker

Population3.901 billion

CapitalCoffee City
LeaderChancellor Carl Kemppainen

CurrencyCoffee Bean
Animalmonkey

The Commonwealth of Coffee Drinker is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Chancellor Carl Kemppainen with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.901 billion Coffee Drinker are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coffee City. The average income tax rate is 67.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Coffee Drinkerian economy, worth 289 trillion Coffee Beans a year, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,248 Coffee Beans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eating kids as food has been enshrined in law, victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, and breastfeeding mothers are replacing smokers to loiter outside the workplace. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coffee Drinker's national animal is the monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Coffee Drinker is ranked 37,164th in the world and 1,326th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 76 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Most Influential: 2,784thTop
5%
Most Secular: 8,691stSafest: 12,779thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,076thTop
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 18,731stBest Weather: 19,053rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 20,133rdHealthiest Citizens: 20,852ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 21,936thMost Beautiful Environments: 23,615thMost Pacifist: 23,957thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 29,911th
Top
5%
Most Secular: 295th in the regionTop
10%
Safest: 596th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 604th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 642nd in the regionMost Influential: 648th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Coffee Drinker was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Eco-Friendly Governments.
  • : Coffee Drinker's influence in The North Pacific rose from "Zero" to "Shoeshiner".
  • : Following new legislation in Coffee Drinker, breastfeeding mothers are replacing smokers to loiter outside the workplace.
  • : Following new legislation in Coffee Drinker, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled.
  • : Following new legislation in Coffee Drinker, victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians.
  • : Following new legislation in Coffee Drinker, eating kids as food has been enshrined in law.
  • : Following new legislation in Coffee Drinker, public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers.
  • : Coffee Drinker was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Coffee Drinker relocated from Osiris to The North Pacific.
  • : Coffee Drinker altered its national flag.

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