by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 1,792nd Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,408th Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,449th
The Grandaddy's State of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong
Grovelling Sidekick
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population1.644 billion

LeaderGrandaddy IV


The Grandaddy's State of Cockroftenstein is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Grandaddy IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, free-roaming dinosaurs, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.644 billion Cockroftensteinians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Roftopia. The average income tax rate is 68.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cockroftensteinian economy, worth 294 trillion Keks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 179,382 Keks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Only the brainiest citizens become academics, religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment, holiday-makers leave on the same clandestine boats that illegal immigrants arrive in, and bizarre-looking creatures called 'Wolfdogs' dominate wildlife preserves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cockroftenstein's national animal is the Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Grandadiasm.

Cockroftenstein is ranked 169,750th in the world and 1st in Dark Cockpappzania for Most Inclusive, scoring 6.61 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

Largest Retail Industry: 1,792ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,408thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,449thMost Avoided: 2,698thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,861stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,899thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,110thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,505thMost Secular: 3,561stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,839thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,847thLargest Black Market: 4,294thNudest: 4,697thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,930thLargest Mining Sector: 7,403rdHighest Average Incomes: 7,830thLargest Insurance Industry: 8,556thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 10,054thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13,109thLowest Crime Rates: 14,140thLargest Governments: 14,857thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,442ndMost Conservative: 17,039th

National Happenings

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