by Max Barry

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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1stLargest Insurance Industry: 5thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th
The Popsicle Pete Nation of
Iron Fist Consumerists
NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Clench

Population33.511 billion

CapitalJoseph City
LeaderJoseph
FaithJosephism

Currencymoney
Animalviper

The Popsicle Pete Nation of Clench is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Joseph with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, vat-grown people, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 33.511 billion follower of Josephs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Joseph City. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Josephic economy, worth an astonishing 35,059 trillion monies a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 1,046,195 monies, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,034,268 per year while the poor average 285,694, a ratio of 10.6 to 1.

Parents receive hefty fines for telling kids to eat their vegetables, many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Joseph wears an armoured gauntlet, and truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Clench's national animal is the viper, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Josephism.

Clench is ranked 215,421st in the world and 4,903rd in the Rejected Realms for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -65.04 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1stLargest Insurance Industry: 5thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5thLargest Black Market: 6thLargest Mining Sector: 9thHighest Average Incomes: 9thHighest Economic Output: 12thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 18thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 20thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21stLargest Agricultural Sector: 23rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 27thMost Patriotic: 30thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 87thMost Subsidized Industry: 140thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 148thMost Corrupt Governments: 150thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 162ndLargest Governments: 179thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 183rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 185thMost Efficient Economies: 211thMost Avoided: 237thFattest Citizens: 303rdLowest Crime Rates: 384thMost Advanced Public Transport: 415thHighest Poor Incomes: 483rdLargest Retail Industry: 782ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 949thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,691stLargest Populations: 1,701stHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,064thTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 4,395thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4,455thMost Conservative: 6,545thRudest Citizens: 6,739thMost Devout: 7,190thMost Stationary: 7,214thTop
10%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 11,223rdMost Authoritarian: 12,995thLargest Publishing Industry: 14,891stMost Advanced Public Education: 15,384thSmartest Citizens: 17,377thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,291stMost Influential: 21,386th
Top
1%
Largest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 9th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 11th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11th in the regionLargest Governments: 11th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 15th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 18th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 18th in the regionMost Avoided: 19th in the regionFattest Citizens: 20th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 31st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 34th in the regionLargest Populations: 36th in the regionTop
5%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 54th in the regionMost Stationary: 55th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 57th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 106th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 119th in the regionMost Conservative: 147th in the regionRudest Citizens: 166th in the regionMost Devout: 240th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 251st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 294th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 322nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 369th in the regionMost Extreme: 371st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 427th in the regionMost Influential: 428th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Clench, truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Joseph wears an armoured gauntlet.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, parents receive hefty fines for telling kids to eat their vegetables.
  • : Clench was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Clench.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, real estate agencies are being replaced by naval recruitment offices.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, the examiners who examine examiners are being examined by examiners.

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