The Empire of Chijako is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.888 billion Chijakenses are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Epicrotea. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient chijakense economy, worth 582 trillion Kherts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 149,698 Kherts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry, Leader's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners, and teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chijako's national animal is the Cattle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Chijako is ranked 6,562^nd in the world and 139^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 110.05 law-abiding acts per hour.