by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,244thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,575thHighest Crime Rates: 1,686th
The Holy Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Chewits r chewy
Chewie the Chewitsaurus
Influence
Power
Food Officer
Region
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Chewitsaurus

Population1.448 billion

CapitalJuicy Bites
LeaderChewie the Chewitsaurus
FaithXtreme twists

CurrencyChewits
AnimalChewit dragon

The Holy Empire of Chewitsaurus is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Chewie the Chewitsaurus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, ritual sacrifices, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.448 billion Chewitsauri are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Administration, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Juicy Bites. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Chewitsaurusian economy, worth 185 trillion Chewits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 127,918 Chewits, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 726,463 per year while the poor average 10,988, a ratio of 66.1 to 1.

The government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru, government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, and ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Chewitsaurus's national animal is the Chewit dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Xtreme twists.

Chewitsaurus is ranked 248,252nd in the world and 6th in Sainiti for Most Income Equality, scoring 1.51 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,244thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,575thHighest Crime Rates: 1,686thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,172ndLargest Gambling Industry: 2,235thTop
5%
Most Avoided: 2,916thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,597thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,621stMost Armed: 3,901stHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,329thFattest Citizens: 4,536thMost Primitive: 4,671stLargest Retail Industry: 5,081stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,560thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,771stMost Patriotic: 9,804thLargest Mining Sector: 10,270thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,938thMost Corrupt Governments: 11,381stMost Devout: 12,072ndTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 18,274thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 20,717thHighest Average Incomes: 22,602ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 24,860thLargest Black Market: 26,352ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 26,714th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru.
  • : Chewitsaurus was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, the Top 5% for Most Patriotic, and the Top 10% for Largest Black Market.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in Chewitsaurusian restaurants.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, the word 'elite' appears as a synonym for various insults in the Chewitsaurusian Colonial Thesaurus.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, citizens who leave the nation for work are instantly charged with treason.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights.
  • : Following new legislation in Chewitsaurus, a stitch in time could see you serving nine.

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