The Toasty Smell of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mel Torme with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 12.742 billion Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hearth. The average income tax rate is 42.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire economy, worth a remarkable 1,074 trillion Toasty Smells a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 84,337 Toasty Smells, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Employers are gradually adapting to the alien premise of paying wages to their workers, video evidence of cruel animal experiments tends to be of poor quality, polychromatic seas of leaves blanket the ground while sewers and drain pipes are clogged by their detritus, and charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire's national animal is the Open Fire, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire is ranked 176,764^th in the world and 66^th in Christmas for Lowest Crime Rates, with 58.72 law-abiding acts per hour.