The Commonwealth of Cheloboria is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Elect with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.603 billion Cheloborians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tortoburg. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cheloborian economy, worth 983 trillion Shells a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 129,363 Shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The name of the "Butcher of Bigtopia" adorns shirts across Cheloboria, the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, and document forgery is a critical skill for would-be politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cheloboria's national animal is the Tortoise, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Maguffinism.

Cheloboria is ranked 9,520^th in the world and 64^th in Forest for Highest Poor Incomes, with 113,488 Standard Monetary Units.