The Commonwealth of Cheloboria is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Elect with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.336 billion Cheloborians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tortoburg. The average income tax rate is 92.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cheloborian economy, worth 673 trillion Shells a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 126,175 Shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Chickens frolic freely on swings and roundabouts in Tortoburg's playgrounds, out-of-work actors say they can't complain, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Cheloboria after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax, and construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cheloboria's national animal is the Tortoise, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Maguffinism.

Cheloboria is ranked 3,800^th in the world and 67^th in Forest for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 7,534.82 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.