The Commonwealth of Cheloboria is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by President Elect with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.227 billion Cheloborians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tortoburg. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cheloborian economy, worth 414 trillion Shells a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 128,458 Shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, there's some really clean windows in Cheloborian houses, becoming a missionary is a sure-fire route to martyrdom, and the countryside is shrouded by wind farms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cheloboria's national animal is the Tortoise, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Maguffinism.

Cheloboria is ranked 196,371^st in the world and 371^st in Forest for Most Primitive, scoring -334.9 on the Scary Big Number Scale.