by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 5,032ndMost Authoritarian: 6,222ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,217th
The National Monarchist State of
Psychotic Dictatorship
For Moramia, for Cermier!
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population554 million



The National Monarchist State of Cermiersia is a huge, safe nation, notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, frequent executions, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 554 million Cermiersians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mariline. The average income tax rate is 91.3%.

The strong Cermiersian economy, worth 51.1 trillion Falktikes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 92,248 Falktikes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

It is against the rules of boxing to hit above or below the belt, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, fitness to teach sport is proven by urinating the furthest up a wall, and heterosexuality is considered positive proof of fitness to parent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cermiersia's national animal is the Cenus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cermiersia is ranked 239,053rd in the world and 6,297th in the Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 2.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 5,032ndMost Authoritarian: 6,222ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,217thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,813thMost Conservative: 8,869thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,203rdMost Corrupt Governments: 9,481stLowest Crime Rates: 9,625thMost Valuable International Artwork: 11,233rdBest Weather: 11,582ndTop
Largest Governments: 12,303rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,488thHealthiest Citizens: 14,637thMost Beautiful Environments: 15,144thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,310thLargest Welfare Programs: 17,073rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17,682ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19,757thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,927thMost Advanced Public Education: 20,350thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,699thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 21,193rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 22,444thMost Extreme: 23,249thSmartest Citizens: 23,607thMost Advanced Public Transport: 23,870th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 119th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 170th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 192nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 207th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 230th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 237th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 264th in the regionBest Weather: 289th in the regionLargest Governments: 309th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 309th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 313th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 360th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 365th in the regionMost Conservative: 379th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 400th in the regionMost Extreme: 406th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 417th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 443rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 489th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 498th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 503rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 527th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 531st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 544th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 552nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 587th in the region

National Happenings

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