The Free Territory of Cerdenia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by John Longick with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 8.511 billion Cerdenians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Industry, although Healthcare and Administration are also considered important, while Law & Order and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of City of Godly Potato. The average income tax rate is 3.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cerdenian economy, worth 996 trillion Potatoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 117,089 Potatoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Tough diplomacy is often best handled with a nutcracker, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second, morale within the seismologist community has hit rock bottom, and savvy nightclub-goers know that structurally unsound venues sell the cheapest drinks. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cerdenia's national animal is the Flying Potato, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cult of John Longick.

Cerdenia is ranked 299,958^th in the world and 487^th in Thaecia for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 66.04 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.