The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, fear of technology, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.171 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 20,477 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 847,199 Oricalcums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Hordes of unemployed lumberjacks have resorted to cutting down utility poles to satisfy their cravings, buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel, diplomats shake hands with their right and hide a poison dagger in their left, and the nation's new Mylab space station is notorious for being the loneliest place above the planet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 497^th in the world and 25^th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 44,825.42 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.