The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, aversion to nipples, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.808 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Industry, and Environment also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 15,629 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 789,064 Oricalcums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Celtician is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, a government program is underway to revitalize Celtician's beaches, vacationing Celts expect to be treated as royalty, and the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 208,040^th in the world and 7,673^rd in Lazarus for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -37.36 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.