by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Public Transport: 7thMost Patriotic: 10thLargest Black Market: 20th
The Armed Republic of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Dílis go Bás
Donn
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Celtician

Population26.146 billion

CapitalTech Duinn
LeaderDonn
FaithThe Order of Donn

CurrencyOricalcum
AnimalWolf

The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, public floggings, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 26.146 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 22,642 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 866,002 Oricalcums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations, and scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 309,008th in the world and 10,210th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -747.34 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 7thMost Patriotic: 10thLargest Black Market: 20thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 23rdLowest Crime Rates: 25thHighest Average Incomes: 28thLargest Governments: 30thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 31stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 39thMost Corrupt Governments: 45thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 45thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 53rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 53rdMost Advanced Public Education: 67thHighest Economic Output: 79thMost Subsidized Industry: 88thHighest Poor Incomes: 111thLargest Information Technology Sector: 146thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 161stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 165thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 238thSmartest Citizens: 242ndMost Efficient Economies: 415thLargest Publishing Industry: 503rdMost Devout: 721stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 889thLargest Mining Sector: 1,063rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,087thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,096thMost Cultured: 1,292ndMost Beautiful Environments: 1,318thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,920thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,176thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,718thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,744thTop
5%
Healthiest Citizens: 3,542ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,837thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,622ndMost Stationary: 4,704thLargest Populations: 5,701stHighest Food Quality: 7,352ndMost Authoritarian: 7,556thMost Influential: 13,613thMost Developed: 14,156thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 22,898thMost Conservative: 25,002nd
Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 7th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 11th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 13th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 19th in the regionMost Devout: 29th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 38th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 44th in the regionMost Cultured: 47th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 47th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 51st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 76th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 83rd in the regionMost Stationary: 85th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 102nd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Welfare Programs: 104th in the regionLargest Populations: 148th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 168th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 168th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 200th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 215th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 227th in the regionMost Influential: 241st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 318th in the regionMost Extreme: 418th in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 648th in the regionMost Developed: 744th in the regionMost Conservative: 910th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, decreased demand for toilets is saving the prison service a lot of money.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, citizens can freely debate whether Donn is a great leader or the greatest leader.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, Celtician recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills.

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