by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Public Transport: 5thLargest Black Market: 20thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 22nd
The Armed Republic of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Dílis go Bás
Donn
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Celtician

Population19.808 billion

CapitalTech Duinn
LeaderDonn
FaithThe Order of Donn

CurrencyOricalcum
AnimalWolf

The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, aversion to nipples, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.808 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Industry, and Environment also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 15,629 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 789,064 Oricalcums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Celtician is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, a government program is underway to revitalize Celtician's beaches, vacationing Celts expect to be treated as royalty, and the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 208,040th in the world and 7,673rd in Lazarus for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -37.36 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

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1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 5thLargest Black Market: 20thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 22ndLowest Crime Rates: 25thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 27thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 31stHighest Average Incomes: 39thLargest Governments: 39thMost Corrupt Governments: 40thMost Subsidized Industry: 40thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 45thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 45thHighest Average Tax Rates: 49thHighest Poor Incomes: 50thMost Advanced Public Education: 55thLargest Information Technology Sector: 129thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 138thHighest Economic Output: 140thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 236thSmartest Citizens: 257thMost Efficient Economies: 379thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 488thLargest Publishing Industry: 534thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 616thLargest Mining Sector: 1,031stMost Devout: 1,210thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,251stMost Cultured: 1,397thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,504thTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,248thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,301stMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,530thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,873rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,905thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,856thMost Authoritarian: 4,700thMost Stationary: 6,000thHealthiest Citizens: 6,164thLargest Populations: 6,389thMost Conservative: 10,124thTop
10%
Most Influential: 11,595thMost Developed: 12,223rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 12,788thMost Extreme: 14,772nd
Top
1%
Most Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 11th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 12th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 30th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 54th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 58th in the regionMost Devout: 59th in the regionMost Cultured: 66th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 83rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 86th in the regionMost Stationary: 98th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 107th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 114th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 117th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 122nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 169th in the regionLargest Populations: 188th in the regionMost Extreme: 198th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 219th in the regionMost Influential: 294th in the regionMost Conservative: 329th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 354th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 620th in the regionMost Developed: 712th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, vacationing Celts expect to be treated as royalty.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, a government program is underway to revitalize Celtician's beaches.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, Celtician is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, Donn is described as an everyday person with normal tastes and the usual interests.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, war criminals are given full state funerals.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, trying to toast marshmallows in an electric fireplace just isn't the same.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, it's rare to find an unchewed pencil.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police.

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