The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, infamous sell-swords, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.651 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Industry, and Environment are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 17,679 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 816,568 Oricalcums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show, there's no such thing as a safe bet, the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, and minefields are being deployed along the border to discourage potential emigrants from trying to leave. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 177,896^th in the world and 5,834^th in Lazarus for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 1.94 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.