The Dominion of Celsia is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its smutty television, enslaved workforce, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 473 million Celsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Administration, Law & Order, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cork. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.8%.

The very strong Celsian economy, worth 33.9 trillion Punts a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Gambling, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 71,619 Punts, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 270,187 per year while the poor average 13,223, a ratio of 20.4 to 1.

A proud mining community is considering a rebellion after the Capital officially renamed them 'District XII', infantry are nicknamed "mushrooms" because they get fed crap and are left in the dark, shouting contests are an important part of government job interviews, and homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force. Celsia's national animal is the Gorilla, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Celsia is ranked 256,788^th in the world and 11,888^th in the South Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring -11.09 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.