The Imperial Commonwealth of Celritannia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by The Lord Artarius with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The democratic, humorless population of 19.163 billion Celritannians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Healthcare, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Albion. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celritannian economy, worth a remarkable 2,357 trillion Guild Sterlings a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 123,004 Guild Sterlings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, and a rolling news ticker tape of disclaimers runs across the bottom of the screen on all TV shows. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celritannia's national animal is the Winged Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Celritannia is ranked 4,624^th in the world and 5^th in Mystria for Healthiest Citizens, with 18.5 Bananas Ingested Per Day.