Population | 8.759 billion |
Capital | Arda |
Leader | Mithrandir |
Currency | Tolkien |
Animal | Giant Eagle |
The Socialist Literary Society of Cellar Doors is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Mithrandir with a fair hand, and renowned for its lack of airports, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.759 billion Cellar Doorsians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.
The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arda. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.
The all-consuming Cellar Doorsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,117 trillion Tolkiens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 127,590 Tolkiens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
Court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point, the nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes, the death penalty has been reintroduced, and stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cellar Doors's national animal is the Giant Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.
Cellar Doors is ranked 18,423rd in the world and 1,334th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 90.66 law-abiding acts per hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, the death penalty has been reintroduced.
- : Cellar Doors was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Rebellious Youth.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, the nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, people stand their fridges back-to-front to benefit from the free heating.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, commuters often break into synchronised para-para dancing for no reason at all.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia.