The Holy Empire of Celestial Russia is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 405 million Russians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moscow. The average income tax rate is 80.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Russian economy, worth 40.3 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 99,389 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Leader's throne, would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here", the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Moscow, and it is often said that only Leader could bring down Dàguó. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celestial Russia's national animal is the cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Celestial Russia is ranked 295,975^th in the world and 166^th in A Taco Paradise for Most Primitive, scoring -265.3 on the Scary Big Number Scale.