The Kingdom of Caybow is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Baconslushy with a fair hand, and renowned for its absence of drug laws, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.507 billion Caybowians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Philia. The average income tax rate is 74.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Caybowian economy, worth 564 trillion Bows a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,163 Bows, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, the government has cut taxes in the face of widespread tax evasion, multilingual concierges man empty inner city apartment blocks, and retirement homes are filled with foreign war criminals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caybow's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caybow is ranked 18,931^st in the world and 1,079^th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 64.07 quips per hour.