The Holy pink Witch of CaveDweller is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Cooki with a fair hand, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, otherworldly petting zoo, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 6.47 billion Cooks are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cooki. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.7%.

The frighteningly efficient CaveDwellerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,077 trillion Gold Cooks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 166,466 Gold Cooks, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,506,113 per year while the poor average 2,192, a ratio of 686 to 1.

CaveDwellerian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Cooki, the government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?', the New CaveDwellerian Thesaurus lists "love" and "oppress" as synonyms, and a PhD just ain't what it used to be. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. CaveDweller's national animal is the Dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Maths.

CaveDweller is ranked 4,092^nd in the world and 102^nd in the Pacific for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 18,708.63 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.