by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 36thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 521stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 585th
The Holy pink Witch of
Corporate Bordello
A day in my boots, is a day with joy
Cooki
Influence
Page
Exarch
Region
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

CaveDweller

Population6.47 billion

CapitalCooki
LeaderCooki
FaithMaths

CurrencyGold Cook
AnimalDog

The Holy pink Witch of CaveDweller is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Cooki with a fair hand, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, otherworldly petting zoo, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 6.47 billion Cooks are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cooki. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.7%.

The frighteningly efficient CaveDwellerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,077 trillion Gold Cooks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 166,466 Gold Cooks, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,506,113 per year while the poor average 2,192, a ratio of 686 to 1.

CaveDwellerian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Cooki, the government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?', the New CaveDwellerian Thesaurus lists "love" and "oppress" as synonyms, and a PhD just ain't what it used to be. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. CaveDweller's national animal is the Dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Maths.

CaveDweller is ranked 4,092nd in the world and 102nd in the Pacific for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 18,708.63 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 36thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 521stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 585thRudest Citizens: 704thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 984thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,087thFattest Citizens: 1,148thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,199thMost Armed: 1,634thHighest Crime Rates: 1,807thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,977thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,205thTop
5%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 2,583rdMost Avoided: 2,826thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,985thLargest Retail Industry: 4,092ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,864thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,223rdMost Devout: 5,650thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6,169thMost Efficient Economies: 7,618thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,426thHighest Average Incomes: 10,995thTop
10%
Most Influential: 12,362ndMost Cultured: 14,674thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,717thLargest Publishing Industry: 16,310thMost Subsidized Industry: 16,538thHighest Economic Output: 16,798thMost Pro-Market: 18,255thMost Stationary: 19,612thMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,480thSmartest Citizens: 23,712th
Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11th in the regionRudest Citizens: 17th in the regionFattest Citizens: 20th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 22nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 25th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 27th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 28th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 32nd in the regionMost Armed: 33rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 37th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 46th in the regionMost Avoided: 51st in the regionTop
5%
Most Rebellious Youth: 72nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 81st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 93rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 102nd in the regionMost Devout: 112th in the regionMost Influential: 174th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 184th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 189th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 195th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 212th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 246th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 266th in the regionMost Stationary: 278th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 305th in the regionTop
10%
Most Cultured: 340th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 350th in the regionLargest Populations: 367th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 383rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 395th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 544th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 590th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, a PhD just ain't what it used to be.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, the New CaveDwellerian Thesaurus lists "love" and "oppress" as synonyms.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, the government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?'.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, CaveDwellerian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Cooki.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, aides are afraid to ask if Cooki wants a cup of tea or coffee.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, the local custom of Biking With The Cars sends tourists home bemused or in body-bags.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs.
  • : CaveDweller lodged a message on the The Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in CaveDweller, new urban roads are threatening city parks.

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