by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 60thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 407thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 457th
The CookiEvee of
Corporate Bordello
Everyone blows up labs at some point in their lifetime.
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population7.846 billion



The CookiEvee of CaveDweller is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Cooki with a fair hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, frequent executions, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 7.846 billion Cooks are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cooki. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.7%.

The frighteningly efficient CaveDwellerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,384 trillion Cookies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 176,428 Cookies, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,604,399 per year while the poor average 2,213, a ratio of 724 to 1.

Cooki believes shadows are part of the Illuminati, Cooki can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine, tourists visiting the nation are warned not to drink local tap water, and it is customary to begin the summer with a fasting ritual in which people eat nothing but kumquat smoothies. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. CaveDweller's national animal is the Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Maths.

CaveDweller is ranked 211,206th in the world and 6,675th in the Pacific for Most Authoritarian, with 194.53 milliStalins.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 60thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 407thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 457thRudest Citizens: 552ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 860thFattest Citizens: 974thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 976thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,079thMost Armed: 1,140thHighest Crime Rates: 1,187thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,667thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,818thMost Avoided: 1,922ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,171stTop
Largest Retail Industry: 3,032ndMost Rebellious Youth: 3,515thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,643rdMost Devout: 4,691stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,713thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6,034thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,424thMost Efficient Economies: 6,499thHighest Average Incomes: 9,514thTop
Most Influential: 12,411thMost Cultured: 13,047thHighest Economic Output: 13,624thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,697thMost Subsidized Industry: 13,764thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 14,891stLargest Publishing Industry: 16,233rdMost Stationary: 16,846thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,104thMost Pro-Market: 19,084thSmartest Citizens: 22,435th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9th in the regionRudest Citizens: 13th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 20th in the regionFattest Citizens: 23rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 24th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 25th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 26th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 26th in the regionMost Armed: 28th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 32nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 38th in the regionMost Avoided: 44th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 48th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 58th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 65th in the regionTop
Largest Retail Industry: 78th in the regionMost Devout: 88th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 135th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 160th in the regionMost Influential: 181st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 201st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 211th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 221st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 230th in the regionMost Stationary: 241st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 246th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 287th in the regionMost Cultured: 318th in the regionLargest Black Market: 323rd in the regionLargest Populations: 332nd in the regionTop
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 360th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 378th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 485th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 561st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 609th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 639th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 678th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 711th in the region

National Happenings

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