The Empire of Card puppet 13 is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.126 billion Card puppet 13ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 68.8%.

The all-consuming Card puppet 13ian economy, worth 135 trillion guilders a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Tourism, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 120,253 guilders, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal to make racist remarks in public, the nation has always been at war with Moltovea, citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks, and estate agents justify funky smells by revealing how often the previous owners showered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Card puppet 13's national animal is the sheep, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Card puppet 13 is ranked 11,694^th in the world and 266^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 10,237.87 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.