The Summatory Socialist Republic of Captiotia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Quincy-Claude Green with a fair hand, and renowned for its avant-garde cinema, soft-spoken computers, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 15.744 billion Captiot are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malachi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Captiotian economy, worth a remarkable 4,511 trillion Pokoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an amazing 286,558 Pokoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections, explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, workers of "fairweather faith" claim six months of paid leave for holy days per year, and political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. Crime is totally unknown. Captiotia's national animal is the Fancy Rat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Captiotia is ranked 1,186^th in the world and 1^st in Red Archipelago for Most Cultured, scoring 299 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.