by Max Barry

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Largest Populations: 251stMost Stationary: 276thHighest Economic Output: 1,240th
The RumRunners of
Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Captain Morgan II

Population41.877 billion

CurrencyBarrel of Spiced Rum
AnimalBilge Rat

The RumRunners of Captain Morgan II is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 41.877 billion Captains are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Social Policy and Education aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Morgan economy, worth a remarkable 7,366 trillion Barrel of Spiced Rums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 175,899 Barrel of Spiced Rums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 546,698 per year while the poor average 43,537, a ratio of 12.6 to 1.

Angst-filled teenagers are rushing off to buy government bonds for some odd reason, voting has become a nightmare since everyone keeps selecting "None of the above", membership in the state-owned Church of Captain Morgan II is mandatory and all other faith organisations are banned, and the police have been reduced to using duct tape instead of handcuffs following further cutbacks. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Morgan II's national animal is the Bilge Rat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Captain Morgan II is ranked 3,692nd in the world and 13th in Texas for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 11,624.71 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Largest Populations: 251stMost Stationary: 276thHighest Economic Output: 1,240thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,547thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,167thMost Primitive: 2,183rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,211thLargest Mining Sector: 2,378thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,906thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,929thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,692ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,043rdMost Avoided: 4,278thLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,454thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,753rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,972ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,180thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,937thLargest Insurance Industry: 8,391stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,024thMost Secular: 9,282ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,434thHighest Average Incomes: 10,553rdMost Influential: 11,024thMost Armed: 12,836thTop
Largest Retail Industry: 14,024thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16,083rdLargest Black Market: 18,662ndLargest Publishing Industry: 19,289thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 20,624thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,645thFattest Citizens: 23,491stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 24,675th
Most Stationary: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 8th in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 9th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 10th in the regionMost Secular: 10th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 13th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionMost Avoided: 14th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 16th in the region

National Happenings

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