by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 560th Largest Retail Industry: 605th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 667th
The Incorporated States of
Anarchy
*dolphin noises*
Influence
Eminence Grise
Economic Advisor
Civil Rights
Superb
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Excellent

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck

Capitalist Dolphins

Population1.495 billion

Currencysand dollar
Animalporpoise

The Incorporated States of Capitalist Dolphins is a massive, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.495 billion Dolphins live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Education and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Dolphinian economy, worth 258 trillion sand dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 173,095 sand dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,169,703 per year while the poor average 9,472, a ratio of 123 to 1.

In government offices a hidden killer takes the lives of ministers and civil servants, the entire entry for Capitalist Dolphins in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless', billion-sand dollar sentient AI killbots roll through the streets dispensing hot dogs and T-shirts, and kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Capitalist Dolphins's national animal is the porpoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Capitalist Dolphins is ranked 160,231st in the world and 6th in Tasmanian Trailer Park for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring -12.65 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 560thLargest Retail Industry: 605thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 667thHighest Crime Rates: 833rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,042ndMost Armed: 1,068thFattest Citizens: 1,291stMost Avoided: 1,509thTop
5%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,746thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,771stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,918thHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,558thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,905thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,377thLargest Mining Sector: 3,604thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,842ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,441stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 5,107thMost Pro-Market: 6,111thLargest Insurance Industry: 7,236thTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 8,529thLargest Gambling Industry: 9,348thHighest Drug Use: 9,963rdMost Efficient Economies: 10,541stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 10,924thMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,956thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12,343rdMost Corrupt Governments: 13,035thLargest Information Technology Sector: 15,637th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Capitalist Dolphins's influence in Tasmanian Trailer Park rose from "Enforcer" to "Eminence Grise".
  • : Capitalist Dolphins proposed constructing embassies between Tasmanian Trailer Park and The Dank Meme Alliance.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, billion-sand dollar sentient AI killbots roll through the streets dispensing hot dogs and T-shirts.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, the entire entry for Capitalist Dolphins in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless'.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, in government offices a hidden killer takes the lives of ministers and civil servants.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, new treatments are rejected if they cannot be explained using only one-syllable words.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, fiscal policy hawks decry the sizable "panem et circenses" fund added to the public budget.
  • : Following new legislation in Capitalist Dolphins, Dolphins refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns.

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