by Max Barry

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Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,647th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,817th Most Primitive: 3,131st
The United States of
Father Knows Best State
The best or nothing
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Capital AL

Population4.209 billion


The United States of Capital AL is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.209 billion Germans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Healthcare, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Administration and Welfare receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.4%.

The Capital ALian economy, worth 259 trillion euros a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 61,569 euros, with the richest citizens earning 9.7 times as much as the poorest.

Any girl that shows an interest in Lego is pressured to study engineering, the studies of art and philosophy are banned, unemployed political consultants and advertisers spend every election night weeping for the good old days, and the Capital ALian Tourism Bureau has described the abolition of coastal defences as a "kick to the groyne". Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate. Capital AL's national animal is the squirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Capital AL is ranked 68,815th in the world and 24th in The Democratic Republic for Most World Assembly Endorsements, with zero Valid Endorsements.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,647thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,817thMost Primitive: 3,131stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,870thMost Avoided: 7,969thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,042ndTop
Most Armed: 15,833rd
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionTop
Most Avoided: 5th in the regionMost Influential: 6th in the regionMost Armed: 7th in the regionLargest Populations: 9th in the regionMost Stationary: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9th in the region

National Happenings

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