by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
Candlewhisper Archive was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 235
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 71st Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 157th Fattest Citizens: 162nd
The January Sales of
Capitalist Paradise
doo doo doo doo doooo, We're Lovin' It.
Johnny Burger
Influence
Handshaker
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Candlewhisper Archive

Population7.329 billion

CapitalMonaster
LeaderJohnny Burger

CurrencyOrbicularis
AnimalSeven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing

The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Johnny Burger with an even hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, flagrant waste-dumping, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 7.329 billion Archivists are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Environment and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 2,816 trillion Orbicularis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 384,354 Orbicularis, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,035,357 per year while the poor average 38,456, a ratio of 52.9 to 1.

New government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the state considers itself the 'third parent' of every child in the nation, and it turns out that money can buy you happiness. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Seven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 1,054th in the world and 7th in Forest for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 23,085.49 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 71stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 157thFattest Citizens: 162ndMost Avoided: 171stLargest Retail Industry: 175thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 208thMost Scientifically Advanced: 240thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 250thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 265thHighest Disposable Incomes: 271stRudest Citizens: 330thLargest Information Technology Sector: 352ndMost Inclusive: 411thMost Secular: 441stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 499thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 535thSmartest Citizens: 536thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 539thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 602ndHighest Average Incomes: 612thHighest Crime Rates: 829thMost Rebellious Youth: 834thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 847thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,006thLargest Mining Sector: 1,054thMost Influential: 1,176thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,213thMost Cultured: 1,617thTop
5%
Largest Insurance Industry: 1,866thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,095thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,966thHighest Economic Output: 3,422ndMost Efficient Economies: 5,189thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,880thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,296thMost Armed: 7,102ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7,621stTop
10%
Most Pro-Market: 10,702ndNudest: 12,897thLargest Black Market: 15,756th
Top
1%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 8th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Inclusive: 9th in the regionMost Secular: 9th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 11th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 11th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 14th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 16th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18th in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 21st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 22nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 22nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 23rd in the regionMost Armed: 23rd in the regionMost Cultured: 24th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 34th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, it turns out that money can buy you happiness.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, the state considers itself the 'third parent' of every child in the nation.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, employers may fire workers without giving any reason.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, new government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, strip mining of rare earth metals is up while back problems are down.
  • : Candlewhisper Archive lodged a message on the Forest Regional Message Board.
  • : Candlewhisper Archive voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Paffnia".
  • : Candlewhisper Archive voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Debtor Voting Rights".
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, people say that smog must be good for you because of its healthy green colour.

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