The Intensive Care Unit of Candlewhisper Archive is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Dustin B Twinnears with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 14.732 billion Archivists live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 6,688 trillion slightly manky dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 454,041 slightly manky dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow, Candlewhisper Archive's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region, children are seen fighting in the playground for bread scraps that fall out of diamond-encrusted lunchboxes, and Archivists have replaced bears in a popular idiom. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Six-Toed Ugly Dolphin-Octopus Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Unlimited Cheap Data.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 156,349^th in the world and 294^th in Forest for Most Income Equality, scoring 25.54 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.