The Republic of Cancolastan is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Frank Burk with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, aversion to nipples, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 6.232 billion Cancolastanis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Perth. The average income tax rate is 55.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Cancolastani economy, worth a remarkable 1,013 trillion Empire Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 162,698 Empire Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Journalists giggle uncontrollably while reporting the nation's drug bonfires, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma, selling your granddad's clothes requires an incredible amount of paperwork, and tower block residents are each held responsible for four square inches of front lawn. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cancolastan's national animal is the Wedgetail, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Cancolastan is ranked 49,586^th in the world and 11^th in Anglospheric Empire for Smartest Citizens, with 39.97 quips per hour.