The Republic of Canaltian North is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.986 billion Canaltian Northians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Canaltian Northian economy, worth a remarkable 1,036 trillion ice chips a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 129,735 ice chips, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 376,815 per year while the poor average 35,356, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

Criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, children deemed 'disorderly' or otherwise unfit for public schools are shipped off to military academies, and having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Canaltian North's national animal is the polar bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Canaltian North is ranked 183,982^nd in the world and 4,600^th in Osiris for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -1.53 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.