by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 229thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,234thLargest Black Market: 4,008th
The Republic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
It's just too cold.
Influence
Unproven
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Canaltian North

Population7.986 billion

Currencyice chip
Animalpolar bear

The Republic of Canaltian North is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.986 billion Canaltian Northians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Canaltian Northian economy, worth a remarkable 1,036 trillion ice chips a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 129,735 ice chips, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 376,815 per year while the poor average 35,356, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

Criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, children deemed 'disorderly' or otherwise unfit for public schools are shipped off to military academies, and having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Canaltian North's national animal is the polar bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Canaltian North is ranked 183,982nd in the world and 4,600th in Osiris for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -1.53 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 229thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,234thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 4,008thMost Avoided: 5,154thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,131stLargest Mining Sector: 8,412thMost Secular: 8,465thMost Advanced Public Education: 8,471stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,607thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,400thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,614thMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,213thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,768thTop
10%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 14,053rdMost Patriotic: 16,933rdMost Developed: 17,315thMost Efficient Economies: 18,563rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 19,816thHighest Economic Output: 20,933rdHighest Average Incomes: 22,196thHighest Average Tax Rates: 22,806thLargest Welfare Programs: 23,402ndMost Influential: 24,270thLargest Governments: 26,135th
Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 78th in the regionLargest Black Market: 187th in the regionMost Avoided: 263rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 276th in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 351st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 365th in the regionMost Influential: 382nd in the regionMost Secular: 395th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 422nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 437th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 472nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 550th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 582nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 612th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Canaltian North's influence in Osiris rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Canaltian North was refounded in Osiris.
  • : Canaltian North ceased to exist in Christmas.
  • : Canaltian North was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Governments.
  • : Canaltian North was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Canaltian North, having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom.
  • : Following new legislation in Canaltian North, children deemed 'disorderly' or otherwise unfit for public schools are shipped off to military academies.
  • : Following new legislation in Canaltian North, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia.
  • : Canaltian North was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Following new legislation in Canaltian North, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison.

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