The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, humorless population of 15.62 billion Caliwogs enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Public Transport, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 69.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Cali economy, worth a remarkable 1,635 trillion Takoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 104,698 Takoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The national security service are a bunch of crooks, the family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year, toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters, and dubiously qualified Skandilundian barristers keep referring to laws as 'government guidelines'. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 140,875^th in the world and 6,570^th in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 8.01 Obesity Rate.