The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 18.106 billion Caliwogs are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, liberal government is primarily concerned with Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 76.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cali economy, worth a remarkable 2,105 trillion Takoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 116,305 Takoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, and it is not politically correct to suspect that a serially convicted burglar might steal again. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 8,038^th in the world and 347^th in the South Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 6,806.21 on the Hickory Productivity Index.