by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 411thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 767thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,158th
The Most Serene Eternal Republic of
Democratic Socialists
Hele mei hoohiwahiwa! Ho'olu komo la kaua!
Da Big Kahuna
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population22.39 billion

CapitalAstro City
LeaderDa Big Kahuna


The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, ban on automobiles, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, humorless population of 22.39 billion Caliwogs are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 69.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cali economy, worth a remarkable 2,060 trillion Takoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 92,023 Takoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns, every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry, and future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 4,898th in the world and 146th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 128.64 quips per hour.

Most Secular: 411thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 767thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,158thMost Influential: 1,416thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,436thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3,967thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,601stMost Beautiful Environments: 4,610thSmartest Citizens: 4,898thLargest Populations: 7,305thMost Cultured: 7,928thMost Compassionate Citizens: 8,267thHighest Food Quality: 9,151stHighest Economic Output: 9,195thBest Weather: 9,630thHealthiest Citizens: 9,991stMost Stationary: 10,429thLargest Black Market: 11,754thNicest Citizens: 11,925thTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,035thMost Inclusive: 13,195thLongest Average Lifespans: 13,522ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 13,674thMost Scientifically Advanced: 13,719thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,358thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,250thLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,044thHighest Poor Incomes: 18,724thMost Income Equality: 19,486thMost Advanced Public Transport: 24,436th
Most Secular: 19th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 32nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 47th in the regionLargest Populations: 62nd in the regionTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 118th in the regionMost Influential: 119th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 129th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 132nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 138th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 146th in the regionMost Stationary: 176th in the regionLargest Black Market: 179th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 187th in the regionMost Cultured: 241st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 286th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 296th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 307th in the regionBest Weather: 309th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 385th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 395th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 402nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 427th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 433rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 435th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 441st in the regionMost Inclusive: 482nd in the regionTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 541st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 547th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 550th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 668th in the regionMost Patriotic: 690th in the regionLargest Governments: 786th in the regionMost Developed: 911th in the regionMost Income Equality: 917th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 212 » Aidenfieeld, Farengeto, Darakin, Kringalia, Sandaoguo, Hanguk-Nippon, Jehenna, The naked people, Tsunamy, Volaworand, Sedunn, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, The Solar System Scope, Ridehale, The Two Jerseys, Yellunstryer, Curlyhoward, Kiasu-ism, Cypheri, Nova Montron, Pax Dracon, Drystar, Theorin, Gymnostan, RestartAll, Walloonia, Madhonia, North Kanuckistan, Sanden, Nowa Europa, Ancient Slobovia, Noire Denholm, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Moreana, Center Lisle, Rebel-topia, Drugged Monkeys, Sthalrim, Soem, Centristvill, FreeFishers, Bod Wareenaland, Beepee, Isokenzar, USNE2018, Abarri, Xandev, Auphelia, Land Without Shrimp, Wehraboos, and 162 others.Amerion, Mapico, Noveos, Bear Connors Paradiso, Bleakfoot, Corgitopiaa, PenguinPies, Bawkie, Fasire, Holy Free, Ebonhand, West Pastafaria, Ralphburg, Markla, Shefino, The Worst army of, Laamiva, Valdutz, Myness, Midand, Concrete Slab, Andinla, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, Western Fardelshufflestein, Tepertopia, Phanama, Zaelith, Steviland, Doraya, Blondiesland, Treir, Holota, Truskawkoland, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Proctethia, NIGHTRAY, Noimosini, Westenhald, Herbert Island, New Qafedemar, Oxyliteral, Freedoom, Hong Kong Kowloon and New Territories, United States of Belvaria, Ragabania, Kaleidescooptopia, Beblahbleblo, Unojo, Moridine, Doundaly, Danily, Linguiniland, New Sanet, Kiani, Drew Durrnil, Indolos, Saciu, Damn Frigid Wastelands, Yaravia, Bohenia, CostaLisa, Uvalor, Malmsia, Photoplier, Arvan Irawer, New Plant, Aurcania, Gonrati, Andrendia, Immund, Cereskia 2, Ambirich, Piscantium, Arscanesia, The Imperial Of Notsep, The Akian Islands, GERMAN EMPIER, Raidener, The Island of Sorna, The Haughtherlands, Cucutenium, Achemar, Skaladoria, Kanatian Percocet, Ostavaria, Stephastan, The Woragopiria, Drvonia, Chernaya Zvezda, Banglazstrogaria, Eleuthelrium, Kantamaria, Makinius, Erstavik, Willing Mind, Ever Testing, Donat Invadia, Venezia Pacifica, Ipugao, Berusturg, Bonobiana, Flumenvallis, Brazilian impero2, The republic of Konsa, Esterwood, Monaque, North Pernambuco, Swinlorway, Martiland, Oppalli, Leimarite Empire, Bavaristan, New American Dictatorship, Great Lothian, Nidon, Froshar, Baron Ungern and Tzar Nicholas, Avacquer, Auviantan Outh Islands, Kremony, Blancemon, Cilibia, Prairiegrass, New Crownea, Mnemnovia, Tyrantistica, ARIAPOLIS01, United States of Vietnam, Bistritza, Kaldosky, Antwerpen1, Shoinkwishima, Eae, Shadeth, Goom Bay, LadyRebels, Driodal, Dupanda, Lile Ulie Islands, Aflus, Taigama, New Cacaodia, Rhetiaa, Petea, Eggraria, Nouvel Empire, South Pacifican Kilendjj, Sureiya, Hydratonium, Winlah, Al Madhaa, Ostela-Aswines, Dakalian, Farelonia, Sordandia, Godchouzetsu, Maclalindo, Evinea, Kurdislavic Algharbistan, MaPetiteFille, TescoPepsi, and Altnavia.