The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an iron fist, and notable for its absence of drug laws, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 19.471 billion Caliwogs are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The medium-sized, liberal government is primarily concerned with Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 52.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cali economy, worth a remarkable 1,775 trillion Takoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 91,181 Takoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Auditors are gutting every governmental department, manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition, 75% of the words in government-funded "Super Fun Maths Games" are probably inaccurate, and nude art is becoming wildly popular. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 72,147^th in the world and 3,043^rd in the South Pacific for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 43,584.77 Standard Monetary Units.