The NPA Soldier of Caleann is a gargantuan, orderly nation, remarkable for its closed borders, deadly medical pandemics, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.255 billion Caleannians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. The average income tax rate is 52.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Caleannian economy, worth a remarkable 1,150 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 112,218 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teachers are dying as they attempt to read 500 word essays without pausing for breath, stern tutting by international commentators has persuaded Caleann to disarm, court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs, and hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caleann's national animal is the Elf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Caleann is ranked 162,386^th in the world and 2,817^th in Artificial Solar System for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 636.82 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.