by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 592nd Most Influential: 882nd Least Corrupt Governments: 1,181st
The Commonwealth of
Left-wing Utopia
To rebel is justified
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population5.241 billion

Leaderthe Chairman of the Commonwealth Council


The Commonwealth of Cairnben is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by the Chairman of the Commonwealth Council with a fair hand, and remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.241 billion Cairnbenians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nubierth. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Cairnbenian economy, worth 753 trillion bretzels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 143,693 bretzels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, arbitration is mightier than the sword, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, and tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cairnben's national animal is the hummingbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Cairnben is ranked 159,749th in the world and 8,102nd in The North Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 19.86 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 592ndMost Influential: 882ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,181stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,248thSafest: 1,530thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 1,753rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,763rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,799thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,992ndBest Weather: 2,293rdMost Pacifist: 2,307thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,308thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,339thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,339thNicest Citizens: 2,470thMost Developed: 2,491stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,699thMost Inclusive: 2,906thSmartest Citizens: 3,766thHealthiest Citizens: 3,769thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,845thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,917thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,098thMost Efficient Economies: 4,382ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,426thHighest Poor Incomes: 4,681stMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,715thLargest Governments: 5,255thMost Cultured: 5,431stLargest Publishing Industry: 5,550thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,625thLowest Crime Rates: 5,701stMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,656thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,692ndMost Politically Free: 7,189thNudest: 7,720thTop
Most Secular: 10,221stMost Income Equality: 11,622ndHighest Average Incomes: 13,826thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 15,045th
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 60th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 63rd in the regionSafest: 79th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 82nd in the regionTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 86th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 87th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 99th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 127th in the regionMost Pacifist: 129th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 130th in the regionBest Weather: 131st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 136th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 140th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 140th in the regionNicest Citizens: 140th in the regionMost Developed: 149th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 150th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 154th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 163rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 175th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 182nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 194th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 199th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 207th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 223rd in the regionNudest: 239th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 242nd in the regionLargest Governments: 243rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 261st in the regionMost Cultured: 266th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 269th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 309th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 314th in the regionMost Influential: 334th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 369th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 459th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 531st in the regionMost Income Equality: 538th in the regionMost Secular: 538th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 641st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 680th in the regionMost Stationary: 746th in the regionLargest Populations: 771st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, arbitration is mightier than the sword.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have.
  • : Cairnben was endorsed by The Republic of 1 very fast endotarter.
  • : Cairnben endorsed The Rogue Nation of Thoets.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, the 'sing-a-long with the Chairman of the Commonwealth Council' album is a popular souvenir.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, the nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies".
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers.
  • : Cairnben was endorsed by The Rogue Nation of Thoets.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 200 » Buckerino, Yaorozu, Wodan, PlanetPunk, Sunto, Siwale, Great Bights Mum, Corfad, Diodone, Notyoutopia, Bayern-Straubing, Cloydicia, Universal State Formula, Territorio di Nessuno, Pallaith, Shin-Hachioji, Ainsworth, Victoriaans Nederlands, Kwaj, Kelvaros Prime, Holy Oranz, Wineclaw, Republic of Dixie, McMasterdonia, American MapleStory, Malta Comino Gozo, Selfgradatude, Unimaginable Doom, Shadowrik, Xentherida, Alice Gardens, The Syca, Apetopia, Camarthen, Eglise Sainte Eve, Agrauron, Unsophisticate, Mzeusia, Gladio II, General COE, SillyString, Malvad, Ozstan, Sil Dorsett, A Terribly Charismatic Duck, Guslantis, Puczovska, Moubarakistan, Frances Francis the First of France, Ceretis, and 150 others.Atain, Phoronu, Albacria, Municipality of Baria and Vungtau, Q w e r t y, Shibutani, Yukti, Ka Ching, Californian Redwood, THX1138, Northern Glory, Lower Nubia, Former English Colony, Mahsoobia, Koda-Land, Kylesburgh, Amerian States, Highton Islands, Tredano, New Trisone, Snoodum, The Gamer Party, Racoda, Whereisthatistan, Sacrento, Suicidistan, Sanjurika, The Mace Kingdom, Zeternia, The Kyziban Islands, Ethnon, Sundred, Empy, United Draconia, SORT, Misuvelia, Hyperbanus, Quranite, Dovena, CedieRKing, The United States of Romania, Alsace and Lorraine United, Maott, Aenglaland, East Darlown Zamatraporia, I am the one who knocks, El Fiji Grande, Arstungry, Kobagia, Copria, Dar es Saalam, Abrickhouse, Democritus, Yarecir, Wilkshire, Yubadai, Helium Kittens United, The Iron Lions, Jontopiary, The Pantheons, The Rhein States, The Most Freedom Ever, New Bremerton, Lionia, Kranostav, Gawdzendia, Tyroshh, New Pruessen, The Serdey Islands, Cinnibar, Zastunia Free State, Newrun, Spartoptia, Elijaia, United Kahndaq, Niradans, Wisconsota, Katschekistan, Timarah, Chifrial, Votak Matim, Magic Genovia, Oshonia, Sinelona, Torakuen, Vincone Cae, Uganda Knuckles UK, Egalico, North Bratislava, New Lakemba, The Windmilluminati, Dreadton, Aurumos, Sakaryata, Kasazzastan, Omnistria, Maovale, Stat Artha, Gorlan Ruins, Guer Aike, Papika, Daedric Stellar Empire, Warsaw-Halicz, Amauri, Machendel, Democratu, Avemterra, Federation Terra Australis, The Notorious Mad Jack, Xagill, Wunderstrafanstalt, Atomic Industry Islands, Ninjak30, Outer Egorniand, Severisen, Lunallian, Napnomadia, Sheldanada, Bearical, Australiland, United North American, Zumlandia, Ethereal Expanse, Hong Kong Empire, The Realm of Dorne, Black Templares, The Black Cathedral, Ara Antrizuls, Steraz, The South Falls, Dercia, New Eleria, United Western Federation, Kalimora Aire, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Grobbillandia, Analomink, Pasargad, INTEGRAL, Alunya, Joodey, Paradisia Heavenlonia Stralisian Union, Crown Isles, Bridgett, The Sinclarian Provinces, Zemnaya Svoboda, Justanistan, Liber-lando, Thoets, and 1 very fast endotarter.

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