by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 882nd Least Corrupt Governments: 1,239th Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,659th
The Commonwealth of
Left-wing Utopia
To rebel is justified
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend


Population3.399 billion

Leaderthe Commonwealth Council


The Commonwealth of Cairnben is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by the Commonwealth Council with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.399 billion Cairnbenians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nubierth. The average income tax rate is 93.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cairnbenian economy, worth 416 trillion bretzels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 122,534 bretzels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Cairnbenian Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas, kids these days know how to throw a proper punch, people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy, and criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cairnben's national animal is the hummingbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Cairnben is ranked 11,048th in the world and 589th in The North Pacific for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 362.27 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 882ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,239thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,659thMost Influential: 1,679thTop
Safest: 2,054thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,386thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,395thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,417thMost Advanced Public Education: 3,180thMost Developed: 3,447thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,482ndMost Pacifist: 3,506thBest Weather: 3,706thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,746thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,806thNicest Citizens: 4,128thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,131stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,182ndMost Inclusive: 4,735thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,119thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,122ndSmartest Citizens: 5,208thHealthiest Citizens: 5,794thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,987thMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,300thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,505thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,639thMost Cultured: 7,928thMost Politically Free: 8,205thLargest Governments: 8,241stLowest Crime Rates: 8,776thTop
Most Secular: 9,787thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,586thMost Income Equality: 10,903rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,048thLargest Information Technology Sector: 12,236thNudest: 12,610thMost Efficient Economies: 16,122nd
Least Corrupt Governments: 59th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 68th in the regionSafest: 92nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 101st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 102nd in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 112th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 138th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 171st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 171st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 176th in the regionMost Developed: 186th in the regionMost Pacifist: 188th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 189th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 195th in the regionBest Weather: 195th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 213th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 223rd in the regionNicest Citizens: 223rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 225th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 233rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 238th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 294th in the regionMost Inclusive: 295th in the regionMost Politically Free: 295th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 325th in the regionLargest Governments: 351st in the regionMost Cultured: 377th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 378th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 379th in the regionNudest: 395th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 465th in the regionMost Secular: 504th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 589th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 635th in the regionMost Income Equality: 653rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 654th in the regionMost Influential: 673rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 749th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 784th in the regionLargest Populations: 898th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 936th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Cairnben was endorsed by The Constitutional Monarchy of Californian Redwood.
  • : Cairnben was endorsed by The Republic of Ka Ching.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, kids these days know how to throw a proper punch.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, the Cairnbenian Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas.
  • : Following new legislation in Cairnben, it's harder to qualify for IVF than for a good university.
  • : Cairnben was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Cairnben voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn The Black Hawks".
  • : Cairnben endorsed The Empire of The Grand Forerunner Ecumene.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 124 » Buckerino, Aerilia, South Grand Mountain, Yaorozu, Wodan, PlanetPunk, Sunto, Siwale, Great Bights Mum, Corfad, Diodone, Inorganic Tomb Thing, Pakistan 001, Notyoutopia, Buten, Bayern-Straubing, Cloydicia, Universal State Formula, Cuyan, Territorio di Nessuno, Thenaca, The Lancerian Empire, Pallaith, Shin-Hachioji, I Am Bad At Naming Nations, Ainsworth, Victoriaans Nederlands, Kwaj, Kelvaros Prime, HMS Unicorn, Forunte, Anima Proxa, Phillywob, Prevaland, Holy Oranz, Wineclaw, Republic of Dixie, McMasterdonia, Bharathvarsh, American MapleStory, Che Sana Und, Malta Comino Gozo, Selfgradatude, Midds Conia, Unimaginable Doom, Shadowrik, Xentherida, Alice Gardens, The Syca, Sheppey, and 74 others.Apetopia, Krakovhia, The AP Republic, Tharissus, Camarthen, Eglise Sainte Eve, Agrauron, Unsophisticate, Dodione, Caish Empire, Mzeusia, Gladio II, Friently, General COE, SillyString, CurryIndia, Hexago, NatsukiLand, Malvad, Merconitonitopia, Ozstan, Lord Ravenclaw, Sil Dorsett, AdyLand, Elhomna, Astal Aavors, Avornica, Abunenin, Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan, Xagill, A Terribly Charismatic Duck, Illusia and Neverendia, Euginus, Alsatian Island, Guslantis, Canada GR, Puczovska, Lake Flotillas, Moubarakistan, Frances Francis the First of France, The Mazur Empire, Ceretis, Ktyria, Zedeya, Yaris, Morlanka, Atain, Nueava Libertalia, LaKronia, Mirandako Herri Errepublika, Pandessiand, Phoronu, Omicron Persei V111, Albacria, Mordant99, Wesley Republic, Benolia, Freienland, Kingdom of Space, Municipality of Baria and Vungtau, Republican Pacific Islands, Q w e r t y, The Windmilluminati, Shibutani, Get Away From Me, ThE eNd oF eE, Sallanas, Triekru, Yukti, Underground Techno, Halcyon Nova, The Grand Forerunner Ecumene, Ka Ching, and Californian Redwood.

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