The Red Commonwealth of Cafu and Malaguay is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Tertius Corvi with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, smutty television, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.954 billion Malaguayians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cafu. The average income tax rate is 68.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Malaguayian economy, worth 297 trillion cobalts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 100,587 cobalts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, saying "don't do anything that Tertius Corvi wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, money grows on trees, and army doctors who come under attack defend themselves by using stethoscopes like nunchaku. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cafu and Malaguay's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cafu and Malaguay is ranked 158,052^nd in the world and 411^th in 10000 Islands for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -1 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.