The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 31.904 billion Caffeinneburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The tiny government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Administration are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 10.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Caffeinneburgian economy, worth 904 trillion orichalks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 28,336 orichalks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 18,882^nd in the world and 11^th in North America for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 4,519.14 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.