The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, smutty television, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 42.735 billion Caffeinneburgians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Healthcare, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Public Transport are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 22.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Caffeinneburgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,981 trillion orichalks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 46,363 orichalks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 118,748^th in the world and 26^th in North America for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,035.42 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.