The Republic Federation of Cabin John is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Bob Strauss with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The compassionate, hard-working population of 6.42 billion CabinJonathans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cabana Juan. The average income tax rate is 73.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Cabin Johnian economy, worth 744 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 116,041 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread, citizens can't decide whether to be proud or horrified by the country's colonial history, and Cabin Johnian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Bob Strauss. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cabin John's national animal is the Bulldog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Craft Beerology.

Cabin John is ranked 13,911^th in the world and 751^st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 9,140.45 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.