The Glorious Empire of Burning Pants is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The King of Braves with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, flagrant waste-dumping, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 19.661 billion Burner of Pants live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of adventure. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Pants-Burner economy, worth a remarkable 7,065 trillion G-Stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 359,349 G-Stones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down, The King of Braves's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide, and the latest "must-have" uPhone is 1/4 mm thinner than last year's uPhone. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Burning Pants's national animal is the Fighting Mechanoid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Oath Sworn Through Courage.

Burning Pants is ranked 310,809^th in the world and 10,301^st in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -1042.16 on the Scary Big Number Scale.