The Republic of Branch Island is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its daily referendums, ritual sacrifices, and ubiquitous missile silos. The cynical, devout population of 4.51 billion Branch Islandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 58.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Branch Islandian economy, worth 378 trillion Golds a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,887 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The silencing of dissent speaks volumes about the quality of Branch Islandian democracy, the government seizes corporate assets it deems 'scary enough', Jennifer Government is banned, and wealthy parents-to-be can select their perfect baby. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Branch Island's national animal is the Clam, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Branch Island is ranked 131,341^st in the world and 141^st in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Most Cultured, scoring 65 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.