Quotes of Beldred XI

"I built a boat out of invisible planks, invisible nails and invisible sails when people tried to get in they drowned and I said 'My boat is over there' then I got into my invisible boat, caught an invisible fish which I cooked on my invisible fire and ate it, I was hungry shortly afterwards so I caught another one"

"I was told always to follow in my fathers footsteps...So I did wherever he walked I walked wherever his footsteps were mine were afterwards"

"I think people will be happier if their skulls were polished so they can reflect on their thoughts instead of letting them out, annoying other people."

"I was pointing at the sky this attracted a crowd watching me point at the sky I then laughed and then walked off"

"He kept making me count the spoons, one spoon, two spoons, three spoons, then I stuck an axe in his head, why do I have to count all these spoons?"

"I like to glaze myself in honey and rub myself against a radiator which attracts the bees and wasps and honey badgers, here's some advice don't have sex with a honey badger unless you are....Another honey badger"

"I have been thinking maybe Austria means empire of the Ostrich, look at it this way in German it translates as "Osterreich" Reich means empire and Oster I think might be short for Ostrich get it? "Osterreich" "Ostrich-reich" "Ostrich-empire"."
(WIP)