by Max Barry

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Most Armed: 1,281st Largest Gambling Industry: 1,303rd Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,748th
The Red Zombie Soviet Union of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Workers of the World, Unite!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

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Blizzardian Empire

Population4.482 billion

LeaderIvan Lenin


The Red Zombie Soviet Union of Blizzardian Empire is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ivan Lenin with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, strictly enforced bedtime, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.482 billion Soviets are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moscow. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.2%.

The thriving Soviet economy, worth 478 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 106,680 Rubles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 317,666 per year while the poor average 28,070, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, and city sidewalks are crowded with overweight people. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Blizzardian Empire's national animal is the Blizzard, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Blizzardian Empire is ranked 148,928th in the world and 5th in Axis of Storms for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -10.95 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Most Armed: 1,281stLargest Gambling Industry: 1,303rdTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,748thMost Avoided: 2,684thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,753rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,803rdLargest Mining Sector: 3,061stFattest Citizens: 3,554thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4,394thMost Secular: 4,804thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,576thHighest Crime Rates: 5,965thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,243rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,671stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6,808thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,949thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,693rdTop
Largest Black Market: 11,739thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,634thLargest Retail Industry: 15,383rd

National Happenings

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