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Fear Slows Economy in greatest recession since 1921; Corporation League deposes Van Doorn

24 March, 2019




Herning Stock Market Value (measured in trillions) since 1 January to today, 24 March


The Herning Stock Market closed today with a total 45% drop in worth, ridding the market of nearly all economic growth seen by the Tirole Administration.

Since the first case of COVID-19 was confirmed on Wednesday two weeks ago, nearly 4,100 additional Blanji citizens have tested positive for the disease. Paired with the extremely aggressive measures taken by the Pathogenics Institute over the last thirteen days, and economic uncertainty in major trading partners including the Keepo Republic, the United States, the Bolivar, the Congo, and the Holy Roman Empire, investors have spread the panic to Blanjiland, leaving the stock market in total freefall.

Blanjiland is not the only nation to be suffering economically; the Edinburgh Stock Exchange closed today with a 21% drop as Ireland was placed under total quarantine, the New York Stock Exchange has dropped nearly 40% over the last week, and the Central Bank of the Holy Roman Empire indefinitely closed all markets due to an unprecedented 28% drop.

In an interview with economist Fenne Romijnders, who works for Van Doorn-Burton in its accounting division, the economy will almost certainly continue to nosedive as investors clean every asset across the board - already, oil prices have risen to levels unseen since the 1950 Afgeristani embargo. Gold reserves at the Bank of Berlin, the second-largest gold reserve in Europe, have been completely emptied. The same goes for silver, picked clean.

Outside of the Stock Markets, panic has spread in a fashion eerily similar to the 1994 Mad Cow epidemic, primarily in regions most affected by Covid-19, those, of course, being Northern France and England, Blanjiland's center for international trade. Retailers have reported having run out of commodities such as toilet paper, bottled water, masks, and canned foodstuffs. While the island of Britain has not been put on lockdown - yet, it is likely the Tirole Administration will be forced to place the region in quarantine, especially due to the Keepo Republic's reported 1,500 cases in Scotland and Wales alone, not to mention the outbreak in Ireland reaching over 7,000 this morning.

To counter the further spread of the disease, the Tirole Administration has placed limits of no greater than seven people nationwide; all essential businesses will be required to conduct operations digitally until further notice.

The Tirole Administration has ordered all nonessential businesses to close by the week's end in these sectors:

  • Ille de France

  • Normandie

  • Brittany

  • Greater London Area

  • Cornwall

  • Birmingham

  • Eastern England

  • Dover

  • Flanders

  • Wallonia

  • Luxembourg

  • Northern Germany




Thirty-fith Premier of the Corporation League, Lauritz Descoteaux, denouncing his predecessor, Peter Van Doorn.



In light of his precursor Peter Van Doorn's attempts to cooperate with the Pathogenics Institute, Lauritz Descoteaux has usurped the position of Premier of the Corporation League, in an attempt to bring the party back to its roots.
In what can only be described as a political coup, Lauritz Descoteaux has announced the sudden resignation of former Premier Peter Van Doorn, and him as the successor of the Corporation League. The ousted political figure has established a new party, known merely as The Opposition, which most of his allies in Parliament have been quick to endorse. This move has seemingly split the Corporation League's influence in all three tiers of government by a quarter, in all three tiers of government. The Opposition has described itself as a reformed form of the Corporation League, though it has not explicitly declared itself as a Citizen's Party yet - a definitive sign of any party that claims to be "progressive".

In a brief interview with President of the Republic Now Party, Edward Rowe, "... Many believed Van Doorn would defect to us, similar to how most disillusioned Corporate politicians end up, but it seems Van Doorn merely wants his own party, with Blackjack and Hookers... He believes his own hype and is hoping his cult status will force the stubborn Corporate puppets will finally give in. He's wrong."

The Van Doorns retain a prestigious cultural and political legacy - Peter's grandfather, Percy Van Doorn, is known as the living embodiment of the Corporation League, colloquially known as "The Reagan of Blanjiland". Philip Van Doorn, his great-grandfather, was a distinguished Great War veteran and supplied the BAF with nearly its entire arsenal by the end of the war. For Peter Van Doorn to abandon this history in favor of forging his own path is admirable, but also foreboding for the years to come.

The 2020 Coronavirus pandemic has been disastrous for Blanjiland (and to a far greater extent, the world), seeing the greatest economic recession in a century, and now, the fracturing of many established political parties.

Officially, the reason for the Corporation League's change in leadership was due to the worry that Van Doorn would betray the party's core beliefs - especially regarding approving funding for the Pathogenics Institute, which had already received trillions of Blanjs from the Tirole Administration. Tirole's orders to shut down nonessential business was also viewed as a metaphorical declaration of war against the party, and Van Doorn's capitulation to their demands forced party hardliners to finally take action. Descoteaux's history as Oligarch of the Judiciary since the era of De Vogne made him the obvious choice as the new figurehead for the Corporation League.

On the left, the Tirole Movement has been slowly losing its grasp over the more extreme branches of its party. The split on the right could be indicative of a grand split on the left as well, with modern circumstances only heightening tensions.

In a time of great medical crisis, a sudden shift in leadership could spell disaster for everyone, no matter their intentions.

In accordance with Tirolean media guidelines regarding COVID-19, this article will attach an official government pamphlet regarding identifying individuals infected with the Sars-Cov-2 Virus.




▲ 106 ▼ 5 JerryManager wrote:
Dear god. I knew the economy was doing poor but I didn't realize it was THAT BAD.
4 hours ago

▲ 13 ▼ 87 carlbenjamin replied:
While this downturn is certainly bad, there is much good coming from it. Finally, the borders are closing! We've stopped the influx of migrants! Globalization has come to a halt! Bonfils was right all along.
3 hours ago
▲ 28 ▼ 4 JerryManager replied:
What???? How is less immigration a good thing? They're the backbone of the economy, who else do you think does those jobs in retail and maintains the hotels?
3 hours ago
▲ 3 ▼ 42 carlbenjamin replied:
Migrants destroy our culture and take our jobs. You get rid of migrants and now we have millions of blue collar jobs that any Blanji can perform, even the uneducated.
1 hour ago
▲ 15 ▼ 4 JerryManager replied:
Yes, because Blanji culture is so fragile that it will be destroyed by some brown people in a few years. You Blanjiland First folk really are the dumbest.
1 hour ago

Load 4 more comments

▲ 202 ▼ 199 entrepeneur41 wrote:
Listen, Herning Journal, I love your articles, I really do, but the needless editorializing in the second part of this one really politicizes an otherwise apolitical event. Van Doorn got kicked out, ok, no need to go on and whine about it. Report the news like your normally do and let The Republican do the political nonsense.
5 hours ago
▲ 41 ▼ 20 nermanwasright replied:
This issue IS political, what do you mean the HJ is "politicizing" it? There is no such thing as apolitical news.
4 hours ago
▲ 1 ▼ 0 buhl4life replied:
What they mean is anything that disagrees with them is "political", and anything that does agree with them is "apolitical".
6 minutes ago

▲ 114 ▼ 127 blanjipatriot1340 wrote:
They finally got rid of that traitor Van Doorn? Perfect. A disgrace to his family, that Van Doorn. I'll stand by Descoteaux until the end, and purge the commie pinkos that have infected this nation!
5 hours ago

▲ 47 ▼ 15 antistatist69 replied:
If I remember correctly, didn't you defend Van Doorn on that other article about him announcing his bid for Prime Oligarch in 2022?
5 hours ago
▲ 17 ▼ 3 blanjipatriot1340 replied:
I don't know what you're talking about. Why don't you go troll the Keepan News on The Republican, like you normally do?
4 hours ago
▲ 13 ▼ 5 antistatist69 replied:
WOW, you actually went and deleted it that comment. I have a photo of that conversation, you know.
5 hours ago
▲ 69 ▼ 0 memester replied:
Do either of you idiots have anything else better to do other than argue incessantly on EVERY news article on the internet? No matter what site, no matter the topic, you two are always in the comments.
3 hours ago
▲ 3 ▼ 0 buhl4life replied:
Hey, in these troubling times, at least I always have these two to read for entertainment.
30 minutes ago

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