by Max Barry

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Oh Look, Blak Made an OOC Page

WARNING: this section contains potentially lethal amounts of Personal Opinion. By clicking the link below, you agree that the creator of this factbook may not be held responsible for any butthurt that may or may not ensue as a result of consuming this article.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

"The only difference between rich and poor, obviously aside from money, is determination."
~ me.

"Modern and medieval societies are only different because God has been usurped by the dollar."
~ a friend of mine.

"Everything everyone's just said is either obvious or wrong!"
~ Grampa, The Simpsons.

~

Hello! I'm a run-of-the-mill British graduate who studied Creative Writing and History (BA with Hons.) at the University of Chichester. I'm also a drunk (my favoured tipple is Kopparberg cider, but I happen to be partial to Malibu liqueur and the occasional swig of vodka). Not a fan of drugs though, and cigarette smoke is one of my huge pet hates, so smoking's out. I'm also an atheist, mostly out of principle rather than a blind devotion to science and the material. Not very sporty either. I am, however, conditionally bisexual, so there's that if nothing else.

As you may have noticed from my introductory paragraph, I tend to be self-deprecating. I mean, I'm great and all, but no human being is and ever will be infallibly perfect. Not even someone as awesome and interesting as me.

~

As for my origin, I was born in Liverpool, am half-Scouse and half Scot (I tell everyone it's a recipe for a highly-aggressive alcoholic with a penchant for stealing car tyres) and grew up in Cornwall, where my immediate family resides at present. So if you find me cracking sardonic jokes about Manks and/or Devonians on the forums, now you know why.

I have a burning passion for creative writing and learning about contemporary history, with a decent knowledge of the world wars, Soviet history, military history and the Enlightenment under my belt. My favourite authors are H.G. Wells and H.P. Lovecraft; my favourite poem is Ozymandias (the one by Percy Bysshe Shelley, of course); Star Wars is my favourite film series, with the Marvel Cinematic Universe coming a close second; Game of Thrones is my favourite TV series; and Frankenstein would have to fight with The War of the Worlds for the title of my favourite novel. I've even started a campaign of Dungeons and Dragons (5e) as of last month! I also fancy myself a master of plot-twists and guessing games, but in fairness I'm probably terrible at them.

If you want to take a gander at my literary creations, shoot me a TG! Or better yet, visit Linkmy website!

Obviously, I speak English as a first language. I also took a crack at learning Latvian (for no reason, here's a feminine S!), so hit me up if you want to argue about the colour of your house's roof or see who can count to ten the fastest.

~

As far as politics goes, I used to call myself a Stalinist (mostly to annoy fellow-leftists, particularly Dad - in actuality, I'm probably closer to a utilitarian Leninist). Stalin himself could be a nutcase at times and I most certainly wouldn't have liked to live under his regime, but that seems to be the case with every other leader (much less dictator), and Stalin had some damn good ideas - for instance, Socialism in One Country.

There was a point where I was a proper, unashamed tankie, but no longer is that the case. This is, quite frankly, because the so-called "Marxists" of today spend more time openly denying the Holodomor and/or bickering about cultural appropriation than showing any sign of working towards the social equality and utilitarianism I originally dreamt of when referring to myself as a tankie.

The state should be in total command of all ESSENTIAL industries (energy, transport, agriculture and the like) and leave private industry to fight over everything that isn't essential (retail, fast food, etc.). And yes, I am also a fan of the Gulag system, albeit altered with some libertarian elements so as to be more productive and less punishing. Also chuck actual criminals in there, not "political" criminals.

Many leftists (especially those of the liberal trend) often say that nuclear weapons should be totally eliminated with unilateral disarmament. While I too believe that strategic nuclear weapon systems are evil and should be removed the first chance we get (tactical weapon systems are another matter), they are a necessary evil in this highly unstable and dangerous world we live in. Instead of just throwing away our nukes on a whim, we should keep them in place until we have a viable alternative for self-defence (throwing flowers and chocolate at a belligerent enemy actor is not a viable alternative, Corbyn). I am of the opinion that, instead of focusing on retaliation as a deterrent against hostile threats, the deterrent should be prevention - i.e. stopping enemy nukes from hitting us in the first place. Something similar to the Israeli Iron Dome (but deployed on a much larger scale) would be more than ideal.

In addition, do not attempt the usual 'cultural Marxist' argument with me - cultural Marxism is a myth invented by poisonous right-wingers for the purpose of using Marx as a scapegoat for the failures of the liberal sect, and often shows a hilarious ignorance of Marxist ideology as a whole on the part of those who use the term.

If you HAVE to know my alignment on the left-right scale as well as my moral alignment, look no further than below.
Economic Left: -8.0
Social Centrist: -2.46
Neutral Good.
Apparently has sympathies for UKIP (lol wut?).

Anything (and it can be LITERALLY anything) else you want to ask? Just shoot me a telegram, or an email if you visit my website. I'm an honest, open-minded man!

As a final thought, here is a picture of my face. Just in case you were convinced I was a Star-Spawn of Cthulhu for some reason.


HA! Stupid mortals! They'll never realise I'm actually a Star-Spawn of Cthulhu with this clever disguise.

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