The Grand Duchy of Black pinewood is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Grand duke Vyliautas I with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 10.015 billion Black pinewoodians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vyliautopolis. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Black pinewoodian economy, worth a remarkable 1,482 trillion Litais a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 148,062 Litais, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, handling people's data is proving an immersive experience, and Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Black pinewood's national animal is the Bull, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Black pinewood is ranked 3,969^th in the world and 187^th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 21.77 bananas ingested per day.