The Empire of Bistrostan is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, smutty television, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, devout population of 37.177 billion Bistrostanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bistrostan City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Bistrostanian economy, worth an astonishing 16,390 trillion drachmas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 440,886 drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The paparazzi publicize Royal scandals with the utmost delight, the hardest thing for a mining operation to dig through is government red tape, airport announcements inform passengers that flights have been delayed because pilots are having afternoon naps, and love means always having to say you're sorry. Crime is totally unknown. Bistrostan's national animal is the cheetah, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bistrostan is ranked 137,144^th in the world and 1^st in The GameFAQs Forum for Most Politically Free, scoring 54.48 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.