The Empire of Bistrostan is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, compulsory military service, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, devout population of 40.421 billion Bistrostanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bistrostan City. The average income tax rate is 66.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bistrostanian economy, worth an astonishing 19,086 trillion drachmas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 472,180 drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here", sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, only vaccinated citizens may have free healthcare, and all the playground's a stage for Bistrostanian schoolchildren. Crime is totally unknown. Bistrostan's national animal is the cheetah, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bistrostan is ranked 35,176^th in the world and 1^st in The GameFAQs Forum for Most Income Equality, scoring 68.4 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.