by Max Barry

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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,088th Most Subsidized Industry: 2,145th Largest Insurance Industry: 2,496th
The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
IT HURTS TO BE THIS HIP
LANKY KONG
Influence
Vassal
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Big Boys Woolies

Population3.466 billion

CapitalTHE RELIGIOUS CITY OF LANK
LeaderLANKY KONG
FaithOF GREEN MAN

CurrencyPOTATO
AnimalTERRY

The Empire of Big Boys Woolies is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by LANKY KONG with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.466 billion Big Boys Wooliesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of THE RELIGIOUS CITY OF LANK. The average income tax rate is 82.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Big Boys Wooliesian economy, worth 647 trillion POTATOES a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 186,786 POTATOES, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage, female restaurant chefs are not allowed to have male customers, LANKY KONG can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees, and Calvinball players are lost for days as they wander the vast halls of their new academies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Big Boys Woolies's national animal is the TERRY, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is OF GREEN MAN.

Big Boys Woolies is ranked 3,465th in the world and 9th in New Western Empire for Most Devout, with 4,230.27 Prayers Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,088thTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 2,145thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,496thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,815thLargest Black Market: 3,072ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,434thMost Devout: 3,465thLargest Retail Industry: 3,706thMost Influential: 3,946thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,154thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,438thLargest Mining Sector: 4,539thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,110thHighest Average Incomes: 7,016thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,550thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 8,729thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,839thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,336thMost Efficient Economies: 9,391stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,662ndHighest Poor Incomes: 11,206thHighest Average Tax Rates: 11,296thLowest Crime Rates: 12,282ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14,641stMost Avoided: 15,844thMost Developed: 16,483rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,729thLargest Publishing Industry: 16,848th
Top
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionMost Devout: 9th in the regionLargest Black Market: 9th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 11th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Mining Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 15th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 20th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 21st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Big Boys Woolies voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Sterilisation of Minors etc".
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, Calvinball players are lost for days as they wander the vast halls of their new academies.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, LANKY KONG can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, female restaurant chefs are not allowed to have male customers.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, the nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, homosexuality is a crime punishable by death.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, it's rare to find an unchewed pencil.
  • : Big Boys Woolies was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes and Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, suicide victims often leave behind cash to cover the cost of their fines.

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