The Federal Republic of Besmenien is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its smutty television, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.038 billion Besmenians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Laitstadt. The average income tax rate is 69.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Besmenienian economy, worth 485 trillion Schillings a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 80,450 Schillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan, armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, and reports of arson have doubled since the introduction of a privatised fire protection service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Besmenien's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Besmenien is ranked 229,656^th in the world and 174^th in Coalition of Crown Albatross for Fattest Citizens, with 8.47 Obesity Rate.