The Caliphate of Besbequistan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Haadid Nahkil Muhssef with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 12.036 billion Besbekhs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Madinat Alkabab Altafjir. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.3%.

The strong Besbequistani economy, worth 886 trillion medinas a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 73,658 medinas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 434,259 per year while the poor average 5,799, a ratio of 74.9 to 1.

Sweet-toothed Besbekhs have been left penniless by the VAT on candy, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons, women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft, and the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Besbequistan's national animal is the goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Besbequistan is ranked 122,617^th in the world and 3,115^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.45 law-abiding acts per hour.