by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,761stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,722ndMost Devout: 3,256th
The Caliphate of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Allahu akbar!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.869 billion

CapitalMadinat Alkabab Altafjir
LeaderHaadid Nahkil Muhssef
FaithSunni Islam


The Caliphate of Besbequistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Haadid Nahkil Muhssef with an iron fist, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, zero percent divorce rate, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.869 billion Besbekhs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Madinat Alkabab Altafjir. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.3%.

The strong Besbequistani economy, worth 284 trillion medinas a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 73,658 medinas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 434,259 per year while the poor average 5,799, a ratio of 74.9 to 1.

Sweet-toothed Besbekhs have been left penniless by the VAT on candy, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons, women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft, and the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Besbequistan's national animal is the goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Besbequistan is ranked 66,149th in the world and 1,223rd in the Rejected Realms for Most Pro-Market, scoring 53.62 on the Rand Index.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,761stTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,722ndMost Devout: 3,256thMost Primitive: 5,251stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,440thFattest Citizens: 5,950thMost Conservative: 6,296thMost Avoided: 7,985thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,916thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 11,157thMost Corrupt Governments: 11,265thLargest Black Market: 12,058thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14,215thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,263rdMost Authoritarian: 18,014th
Most Devout: 71st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 87th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 104th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 122nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 141st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 161st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 198th in the regionMost Conservative: 218th in the regionTop
Most Avoided: 269th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 308th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 321st in the regionMost Primitive: 387th in the regionLargest Black Market: 443rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 452nd in the region

National Happenings

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