The Federal Republic of Belarum is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by President Evan Burke with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 35.661 billion Belarians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The relatively small, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Industry, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bastia. The average income tax rate is 69.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Belarian economy, worth an astonishing 10,119 trillion euros a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 283,765 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, returning vacationers often find that their property is now a construction site, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon, and the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet. Crime is totally unknown. Belarum's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Belarum is ranked 284,234^th in the world and 72^nd in European Union for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -10.1 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.