The Democratic People's Republic of Beatesia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Fleet Admiral Nicholas Millett with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, public floggings, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 20.806 billion Beatesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Public Transport, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beatesgrad. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Beatesian economy, worth a remarkable 7,419 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 356,618 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Heroes long thought dead are promptly killed upon their return, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming, the stratosphere is full of "silent but deadly" attacks from Fleet Admiral Nicholas Millett's rear echelons, and ignorance is considered a politically desirable quality. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Beatesia's national animal is the Owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is The Worker's Party of Beatesia.

Beatesia is ranked 17,353^rd in the world and 482^nd in Lazarus for Largest Populations, with 20.8 billion capita.