by Max Barry

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Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,409thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,651stLargest Gambling Industry: 5,271st
The Company of
Capitalist Paradise
Let's make nothing but money
Managing Partner
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Bear Stearns

Population3.649 billion

CapitalNew York
LeaderChief Executive Officer Jim Cayne


The Company of Bear Stearns is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chief Executive Officer Jim Cayne with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 3.649 billion bankers are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New York. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.4%.

The powerhouse Bear Stearns economy, worth 336 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 92,177 dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 429,236 per year while the poor average 11,872, a ratio of 36.2 to 1.

Ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses, citizens receive notices of disenfranchisement along with their parking tickets, and Chief Executive Officer Jim Cayne sports gold-plated grillz to promote the government's hard money policy. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Bear Stearns's national animal is the bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bear Stearns is ranked 20,052nd in the world and 2nd in Bear Stearns for Highest Crime Rates, with 18.47 Crimes Per Hour.

Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,409thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,651stLargest Gambling Industry: 5,271stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,375thFattest Citizens: 6,943rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,098thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,444thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 10,213thTop
Rudest Citizens: 11,182ndLargest Retail Industry: 14,194thMost Pro-Market: 15,372ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 18,435thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 19,251stHighest Crime Rates: 20,052ndLargest Mining Sector: 20,796th

National Happenings

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