The Beans on Toast of Beans on Toast 13 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space, public floggings, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.878 billion Beans on Toast 13ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 75.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Beans on Toast 13ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,031 trillion Cards a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 149,996 Cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments, even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, and election ballot papers are so long that unused ones are recycled as toilet roll. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beans on Toast 13's national animal is the Raven, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Beans on Toast 13 is ranked 14,872^nd in the world and 23^rd in Memeland United for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.33 law-abiding acts per hour.