The Republic of Bazlak is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Daniel with an iron fist, and notable for its feral children, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.319 billion Bazlakians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boze. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.6%.

The Bazlakian economy, worth 79.3 trillion Bolks a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 60,142 Bolks, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Heroes long thought dead are promptly killed upon their return, international trade is a sticky issue, burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients, and sweet-toothed Bazlakians have been left penniless by the VAT on candy. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Bazlak's national animal is the Giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Danielism.

Bazlak is ranked 182,203^rd in the world and 1,120^th in Europe for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 879.43 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.