The Commonwealth of Batakhovia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by President Yaramir Zylinski with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.485 billion Batakhovians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Duchersk. The average income tax rate is 28.3%.

The thriving Batakhovian economy, worth 134 trillion Kredits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,905 Kredits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Catching an old friend by surprise on the street can be a shocking experience, extraordinary tribunals try accused financial criminals, the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, and graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Batakhovia's national animal is the Batakhovian Brown Bear, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Batakhovia is ranked 45,897^th in the world and 2^nd in Lyrali for Most Patriotic, with 33.75 flags saluted per person per day.